I'm in a bout of depression. It's not a terrible one, but it is interfering in some things I need to do. This is the primary manifestation of the illness in me, actually. I just don't do things that I need to, for no good reason.
Right now, I have a couple bits of contract paperwork to fill out for two different deals I'm working on. The two contracts together equal almost twice as much money as I made all of last year, and the work will really only take me 15-20 minutes, and yet, here I am, looking for more ways to procrastinate. Why? I don't know. I don't have anything better to do. I don't have anything I even want to be doing right now. I've already slept as much as my body will let me today. But...having trouble making myself get any real work done. And this makes me feel all kinds of self-loathing. But I know it's depression, and I give myself permission to ride it out...for a little bit, anyway -- this shit needs to get done soon, though, and I will find the will to do it. That will may come from enlisting someone else to come over and crack the whip, but it'll get done. Just...not immediately.
On the topic of depression...you have probably seen all the stuff going around social media about the semicolon tattoo. It's a very trendy idea right now, this tattoo that is the symbol of perseverance through depression ("The writer could've ended the sentence, but chose not to"). I feel like kind of a douche for falling in with something that's so memeish, but it really did speak to me, and the semicolon has always been one of my favorite punctuation marks anyway, so I got one. Some people say it's about overcoming depression, but I don't think that's a thing that happens in most cases -- not mine, anyway. Depression will always be there, but for me, the tattoo is about pressing on, knowing there is more to the future, all that sappy stuff that people talk about. I mean, that shit's true. It does get better. And it can get bad again, but it gets better again, too.
I might get an ellipsis tattoo on another finger. It's another of my favorite punctuation tools, and it can have similar meaning. I'm not done yet...