Mom: When we were in Hawaii, they gave us lots of free drinks, but it was so watered down there was barely any alcohol in any of it.
Me: When was this? When you were there last year on your cruise?
Dad: No, when we went in the 80's.
Me: You mean when Mom was 8 months pregnant with me?
Dad: Oh yeah, you were there!
Me: So you're complaining that there wasn't enough alcohol in the drinks you had while you were pregnant with me?
Mom: There wasn't!
Me: You didn't get enough alcohol to satisfy you WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH ME?
Mom: Oh stop it, you're fine.
Me: I wonder how much more successful I'd be in life if you hadn't had all those watered down cocktails in Hawaii...
I am going to milk the SHIT out of this. Lose at cards? Maybe I'd have won if it weren't for that pina colada Mom drank in March of 83. Forget a trivia answer? Maybe I'd know if it weren't for my mom living it up on her babymoon. Drop a terrible fart? Oh, sorry, my body's a little messed up because Mom drank when she was pregnant with me.