Because I said so now stfu!

[jianantonic]

I'm pretty good with kids, it turns out. The neighborhood kids love me for no particular reason at all, and today when I was taking out the trash, they swarmed me to chat and ask questions. That's what kids do. And good for them. Asking questions is totally the way to figure out the world and your place in it, and if your kid isn't asking questions, that's probably cause for concern. But there are only so many questions I can answer about the contents of my garage. There's just not much to it, and what is in there is mostly stuff that came with the house. So I just don't fucking know why that shelf is there or what that hook is for. And there are only so many ways I can explain why we have a tennis ball hanging down the middle of the garage (so I don't accidentally drive into the living room; so I know when to stop; because the garage is too small; because I am a bad driver). Turns out, kids have more ways of asking (ie, infinite "why?" loops) than I have of explaining. As much as I am in favor of encouraging curiosity, and as much as I have always despised the parental "because I said so," this barrage of questions made it clear to me why so many parents resort to that horrible answer. The truth is, they probably already did answer the question in the first place, maybe even five or fifty times already, the kid just wasn't ever satisfied with what should be a perfectly good answer. You know what's more annoying than "because I said so"? The fortieth repetition of "why?"

New idea to break the cycle -- I didn't try this tonight, but I also didn't break down and say "because!" at all, but I imagine if children were a more constant presence in my life, I'd surely reach the limits of my patience with the why loop before long. I propose that the conversation go like this:
Kid: Why is _______?
You: Because [reason]
Kid: Why?
You: [dumb it down a bit]
Kid: Why?
You: I have already explained the answer as well as I know how. Can you be specific about what it is you don't understand; what you want to know more about?
Kid: Why?
You: Fuck you.

I have hope that this method will be effective! Parents, let me know if you run any trials :)