Meg (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jianantonic) wrote2016-07-12 09:05 pm
jianantonic) wrote2016-07-12 09:05 pm
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Was it just last week I was celebrating being able to have an email exchange with McKenzie without crying? It's as if he read that and took it as a challenge. We've had some of the kindest, softest exchanges of the decade we've known each other in the last couple of weeks. That fucker.
Things that are true about me:
I love Toby and want to be with him. I'm fully committed to him and happy about it.
I love and miss McKenzie.
My life is better than it has (ever?) been.
There will always be voids that only McKenzie can fill. And sometimes I'll really wish they were filled. (Haha maybe that's a vagina joke! Except no it's not. Also not a butt sex joke, for the record.)
I may or may not want to date other people and have varying levels of romantic relationships with them over the years.
Right now I'm emotionally capped at casual dating, no sex. But I'm open to the possibility that this could change any time.
Anyway that's where my heart is now. Happy for what is, sad for what is not, excited for the future that is possible, devastated about the loss of the future I once may have had.
Things that are true about me:
I love Toby and want to be with him. I'm fully committed to him and happy about it.
I love and miss McKenzie.
My life is better than it has (ever?) been.
There will always be voids that only McKenzie can fill. And sometimes I'll really wish they were filled. (Haha maybe that's a vagina joke! Except no it's not. Also not a butt sex joke, for the record.)
I may or may not want to date other people and have varying levels of romantic relationships with them over the years.
Right now I'm emotionally capped at casual dating, no sex. But I'm open to the possibility that this could change any time.
Anyway that's where my heart is now. Happy for what is, sad for what is not, excited for the future that is possible, devastated about the loss of the future I once may have had.