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Feb. 15th, 2016 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicI've probably mentioned the recurring dreams I have about McKenzie -- not the exact same dream every night, but the situation is the same. We're together, kind of, but he's pulling away, or running away, or straight up deserting me. And it's devastating. It doesn't take a phsychologist to work out what these dreams mean. They suck and I hate them.
Then last night, I had a different one. McKenzie wasn't the protagonist -- Toby was. And he wasn't intentionally pulling away from me -- we just got separated in a crowd and the dream was about stressfully trying to reunite. Whenever I'm dreaming of a problem that could be easily fixed with cell phones (texting, calling, even dialing 911), in the dream, my fingers just don't work with the phone at all. I can never push the right buttons and it's just wasted effort. So that's what was going on in this dream. I was separated from Toby, and wanted to find him again, but couldn't because my hands wouldn't work.
It wasn't a good dream, but I feel good about the fact that it was about Toby this time. I still very much experience the feelings that haunt my McKenzie dreams, but maybe just maybe this is a twisted sign of some healing? Maybe?
Then last night, I had a different one. McKenzie wasn't the protagonist -- Toby was. And he wasn't intentionally pulling away from me -- we just got separated in a crowd and the dream was about stressfully trying to reunite. Whenever I'm dreaming of a problem that could be easily fixed with cell phones (texting, calling, even dialing 911), in the dream, my fingers just don't work with the phone at all. I can never push the right buttons and it's just wasted effort. So that's what was going on in this dream. I was separated from Toby, and wanted to find him again, but couldn't because my hands wouldn't work.
It wasn't a good dream, but I feel good about the fact that it was about Toby this time. I still very much experience the feelings that haunt my McKenzie dreams, but maybe just maybe this is a twisted sign of some healing? Maybe?
