Marching to the beat of a different mandolin

I need to be productive today. I have let myself sleep in and relax a little bit, but soon it will be time to get this shit moving. I'm working on my real estate tools, going through the slow and tedious process of adding everyone I know who might ever buy or sell a home in Oregon to my work database. I have ideas swirling around for my website, too, but I haven't decided on anything concrete yet. My friend Paul gave me the BEST IDEA EVER for one of the tasks I have to tackle, but I'm not going to write about it specifically because that will spoil the fun surprise that's coming.

Other things I need to do today: go to the gym, go to the fabric store and get materials for the next project in my sewing class, whatever real estate work I can do, and maybe be crafty. I have some incomplete jewelry projects I could work on, and may do some practice stuff with my sewing machine. Blazers fan fest is this evening, and i'm going to that with Shellie, so I guess I need to get all these things done before then. I am so freaking excited that it's basketball season again, finally. I love the Blazers.

Last night, Z and I went on a movie date for the first time in a long time. We didn't know anything about anything that's showing now, but we both liked what we read about The Skeleton Twins, so we decided to go see that. It was definitely a good movie. But. It was kind of absolutely the wrong thing for us to see together. Way too many parallels to the shit we've been going through, and it got really hard to sit in the theater together with that weight on us both. We did talk it through after the movie, though, and I'm really pleased that we were able to do that in a healthy and productive way. I was really afraid the effect of the movie would be that we'd both be bristly and uncomfortable with each other for days, but we talked and the bristliness went away within a few minutes instead. Yay progress! So my review of the movie is that it's good and often funny but you shouldn't see it if you're in the middle of relationship struggles, and you definitely shouldn't see it with the person with whom you are relationship struggling. 

Work has been uncharacteristically busy the last couple of weeks.  Not a complaint, just an observation.  I have been quite tired lately, though, because I haven't had any whole days off to sleep in or take naps, and I've been staying out late (for me) -- Blazer game, bridge club, and tonight is board game night.  If the weather is nice tomorrow, I want to go hiking in the gorge, then Kelly and I are going to the Blazer game in the evening.  It's against the Jazz, and the NBA's most adorable player, Gordon Hayward.  Swoon <3 <3.  It's also Kelly's birthday tomorrow :)  I called the Trailblazers office to see about getting a birthday message on the jumbotron for her, but I was informed that it's sold out -- apparently you have to book that shit months in advance.  Who knew?!  I'm sure we'll manage to enjoy the day in spite of it.  Especially if we're able to meet Gordon Hayward.  Not that we're even going to try, I'm just putting that out there in case the universe feels like being generous.  (Do you think the universe reads my blog?)

My running program is going nicely.  I haven't missed any days since I had the flu a few weeks ago, and my long runs have been going fine.  It's the back-to-back-to-back short runs that are most difficult, but I've been handling it.  Today, I took my phone to listen to Pandora instead of my Zune.  I've done that a few times and I've found that not knowing every song and not knowing what's coming next makes it easier for me to just check out and enjoy the music.  Today was the first time that I left my Zune completely behind, though -- I almost always take both, but of course, the day I don't have a backup is the day that Pandora dies.  It played one song, then switched to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, which is a total anomaly for the station I have it on while I'm running (usually dance music or hip hop), but it quit midway through the song and never came back online.  So the remaining 23 minutes of my 3-mile run today were in silence, except for the pounding of my feet on the treadmill (not nearly as soothing a rhythm as a road or trail).  Longest 23 minutes of my life.  Perhaps an exaggeration but not a big one.

My friend Kat posted an essay on my facebook page that totally made my day.  The essay was by a childless woman who was answering a question about whether or not she regretted never having kids.  She said no, and went on to explain how she feels like she was born to be an auntie and how lucky she is to get to have that role in life.  The part that really warmed my heart the most was that Kat said she read it and immediately thought of me.  Aww :)  Does ANYONE love being an aunt more than I do?  I dunno...I think my nieces' other aunts are pretty into it, but who wouldn't be with these girls for nieces? 

I had a dream the other night that I was hanging out with Rachel and helping with the girls, and we witnessed Bess take her first steps.  In the dream, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I burst into sobs.  Truthfully, that's probably exactly what would happen if these events were to play out in real life.  I woke up with crusty eyes, so I'm pretty sure I had been crying for real.  Are first steps really that big a deal?  FSM willing, she'll take millions of steps in her lifetime, so why is it that people get so sentimental over the first ones?  It's funny how things that most adults take for granted in their lives are huge milestones for little ones.  I mean, I do get it.  Each of these firsts is a step toward the person they will become, and that is exciting and sentimental.  And I am one sentimental motherfucker of an aunt.  William laughed at me when he told me Rachel was pregnant with Frankie, because I cried.  No one else did.  Not even he or Rachel.  What can I say, being an aunt is overwhelmingly awesome, and I'm so glad I get to do it!

I was really sore after my run yesterday (and for the entire rest of the day) and I really wondered how I'd make it through another 3-mile run today, as prescribed by my training program.  I did a lot of stretching and IcyHotting before bed, and somehow I'm feeling okay this morning, so I think I'll be fine when I hit the treadmill on my lunch break today.  I've worked out a plan to reward myself:  every Thursday night, get Indian food for dinner.  Then have leftovers for lunch on Friday after my 3rd consecutive running day.  Something to live for.  I love Indian food so much...

I also really love the Blazers.  My team has been winning a lot lately, and beating some great teams, but a lot of these games have been clumsy limps to victory against teams that we should have destroyed, so I wasn't getting my hopes up for last night's game against the defending NBA champion Miami Heat.  I was at best cautiously optimistic.  Throughout the game, the Heat looked stronger and more composed than the Blazers, but they were never able to build a huge lead, and sure enough, Portland put together a nice charge in the 4th quarter, taking the lead with 26 seconds left and holding on to win in dramatic fashion.  I was beyond ecstatic.  It's still early and who knows if we're a true playoff team (no one thought so a month ago, that's for sure), but I really enjoy watching them.  It's a fun time to be a fan.

Tomorrow morning I fly to SLC for a sectional with Max.  Hopefully the fog here and the snow there won't delay me, because I'll be cutting it kind of close for the first session.   Since I have to wake up at stupid o'clock to catch my flight, I'll probably just go home and get in bed right after work tonight.  Definitely looking forward to that, but the day has been slow so far and I'm out of plane crashes to read about.  Anything good on the internet?  That's sfw? 

Things are busy and exhausting, but I'm in a mostly good mood.  Since I left off, I've been to Olympia for two two-day stints.  The bridge was good but non-great, but the company was spectacular.  I had a good time and I'm glad I went.  Sometimes I get a little bummed that I can't play more, but the six sessions I played in Olympia were just fine. 

I attempted a long run on Saturday, and I just couldn't make it happen.  And my last 10K was really unfun, too.  I have plenty of excuses to point to about struggling with my running, but the bottom line is that I haven't had a good run in a really long time.  So I'm taking a little break, and I'm going to reboot when my travel schedule settles down.  I'll keep running, but I'm not training right now.  Just working out, not pushing for extra.  Hopefully a little time off will reinvigorate me.  I'm already signed up for my half marathon in April, so it's not like I'm abandoning those plans. 

On Monday, Shellie and I went to the Blazers' preseason game against the Jazz.  We were able to get really great seats on Stubhub for not too much money, so I'm going to probably go that route for most of my tickets from now on.  I'm pretty sure the Blazers are going to be just awful this year, but I'm prepared for that.  It'll still be fun to go to the games. 

The house is great, but progress has slowed a lot now that it's comfortably established.  There's still a lot more we should do, but very little motivation, since everything is more or less livable as is.  Need to just do it, though. 

Shopping tonight for shoes to go with my awesome African dress for Jess' wedding this weekend!!!  So excited for that!  The wedding, not the shopping...but also the shopping.

My mind is buzzing.  So much is going on, and not going on, and rawr I need to get it all down.

Yesterday, I asked Z if he would go for a hike with me.  The forecast wasn't great, but I don't mind getting wet, and I wanted to mix up my exercise a little bit.  He said there was a new state park in Tillamook (about two hours from here, on the coast) that he wanted to check out, and there was a 3-mile hiking trail and some falls there.  Also, the forecast was better there than in the Gorge, so we headed west (it will probably always be weird to me that west is toward the coast). 

There was some crappy weather on the drive, but by the time we reached Tillamook, it was lovely out.  We stopped at a little scenic area before the park to stretch our legs and see some more falls.  We hadn't wandered far from the car and were taking some pictures while frolicking by the river when all of a sudden it started pouring hail.  Hail in Oregon is a lot different from what I grew up with in Virginia.  First of all it's way more common out here, but it's rarely as fierce as east coast hail.  The hailstones are tiny and the storms pass very quickly.  But this was one of the more intense storms I've seen out here.  Anyway we got back in the car and headed to the state park with the alleged 3-mile trail.  When we got there, though, the only trail that was marked was just a 1/4-mile walk to a fall.  Kind of a long way to drive for a 1/2-mile hike.  We walked to the fall and took pretty pictures, but there were lots of downed trees obstructing the trail past that point, and a rather permanent-looking sign that said "Trail Closed."  So I guess there used to be a longer trail...

We drove to the coast from there, to another park called Cape Lookout.  On the way there, I got an email on my phone from my boss at the company in Charlottesville that I've been freelancing for.  I had just finished my giganto project and was wondering what was next.  His email was basically, "we don't have anything for you right now...it might be a while."  Ugh.  I kind of had a lot of eggs in this basket, and I was led to believe the work would be more steady.  So this was a bummer and a source of stress, and became the main topic of conversation on our hike.  

We selected the 5-mile Cape Trail, which was mostly flat but extremely muddy, along the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean and Netarts Bay.  The hike was lovely, and Z and I did some excellent brainstorming.  First of all, I'm going to have a chat with the folks in Charlottesville and see just what the future looks like there.  When I first signed on with them, I was under the impression that they were going to have regular work for me, or find a place for my skills.  So I'll dig a little deeper there.  But Z also mentioned that the tournament manager from our district (bridge) is retiring and the district is looking to hire her replacement.  This is a paid position here -- I did this work for free in Charlottesville! -- and it still allows the flexibility of schedule that I really require out of any job.  I got really excited about that, but the problem is that the position has been open for a long time and may not still be available.  We talked more about whether I'm even looking for a career (no, not really) or just something to pay the bills.  Z reminded me that his income is more than enough to support us both, but with all the travel and shopping I like to do, I do need to bring in my own income to cover that stuff.  And also I really want to buy a house out here one day, so, yeah.  I mentioned that I'd really like to work for the Blazers in some capacity -- I have no idea what kind of jobs they might have, but even if it was a full-time thing, maybe it would only be during the season?  Anyway that's something else to look into.  The last thing is Weight Watchers.  I've been considering applying for leader positions there, but you have to be at your goal weight to qualify.  (I'm quite close, but still have a few pounds to go.)  Talked a little more about bridge and my place in that community, took some pictures, enjoyed the hell out of the afternoon, and got in the car to head home.

I went to Weight Watchers while Z looked up the job listing for the tournament manager to see if it was still open (it is!).  I lost almost 2 pounds this week, bringing me down to 149.  My goal weight is 145, but 2 pounds over is close enough by their standards (since I already am a lifetime member), so when I'm down to 147, I'll be eligible to apply for positions with the company.  I don't know what's open as far as leader jobs, but I'm willing to travel (say, if Salem needs a leader an hour away), and I know there are lots of corporate groups that have the leaders come to them, so I'm hoping there are a few openings and I could maybe pick up 2-3 meetings per week, or work as a substitute.  I have been traveling way too much lately to even think about the kind of job that requires me to stay put, but the travel is about to taper off again, and a job where I work one or two days a week would still allow for plenty of travel, just not the six weeks back to back like I just did...

When I got home, I prepared a letter of interest for the tournament manager job and sent it off.  I got a reply almost immediately that while the position has not been formally filled, they are "very close."  Bummer.  But, she went on to say that my qualifications were very impressive and she would submit my resume to the committee immediately.  Yay?  It sounds like I don't really have a chance at it, but maybe, just maybe?  So I'm pessimistically hopeful there.

I still haven't looked into the Blazers thing...I suppose I'll do that today.  Z suggests that I start my own Blazers blog for next season, see if I can make a bit of a name for myself, and then take that to the Blazers organization.  I dunno.  I do think I'd write a good blog, but I also think that there are jillions of people who do that sort of thing for free anyway, and I'm not really convinced it would help me get in with the organization...but if I'm going to watch all the games anyway, I might as well give it a shot...

Anyway.  That's what's going on over here.  If you have ideas for what I should do with my life, feel free to share.