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Mar. 8th, 2016 01:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicI had a doctor's appointment today to follow up on some of the things I've been working on and to check in. Have I mentioned how much I love having good insurance? I see my doctor every month just to check in like this. It's an amazing level of support.
Anyway, one of the things we did was rate how I feel about various areas of my life/health on a 1-10 scale. I had high scores in a couple of areas, but mostly I've been feeling like a completely useless failure, and that's affecting everything...most of the scores I gave myself were in the 2-4 range. I mentioned to my doctor that I'm feeling overwhelmed with so much I need to work on, improve, etc. But I did give myself credit for the work I've been doing around my house. I've been working hard, getting rid of a ton of clutter, and I'm proud of myself for that. She gave me lots of encouragement here, as well as an analogy that helped me step back from a lot of the negative self-talk I've been doing.
You know how when you clean a big mess, you have to spread things out and it looks even messier before it can be clean? She said that's where my health is right now. I'm doing the right things (giving up soda, changing some dietary habits, working out hard/frequently, continuing therapy), but my body is in the early stages of a major overhaul, and it feels like a train wreck right now. But that's one of the phases I have to go through to get to where I want to be. Okay then. Onward.
It was really helpful to have so many of my struggles validated. I really feel like this doctor understands and cares. She also checks in by email every couple of weeks. I've mentioned I love this insurance plan, right? The difference between this (silver level) and the plan I had last year (bronze) is night and day. Last year I paid $173/month to cover mostly nothing, really. This year I'm paying $273/month and I have NO copays, and I've already had like 12 (seriously) doctor visits this year. I can go to these doctors for ANYTHING I need, and it's covered. There are always same-day appointments available (ZoomCare only lets you book day-of for basic services). They have every kind of specialist I've ever heard of, and I can get on-demand appointments with any of them. $273/month is not a small chunk of change, but considering all the care I'm getting in all arenas of my health, it's a fucking bargain. But I'm privileged enough that I can afford this -- I don't feel like I should have to pay this much -- no one should. I think this is what healthcare SHOULD be at all levels. But we've got some shit to clean up before that's a reality. Soon, I hope.
Anyway, one of the things we did was rate how I feel about various areas of my life/health on a 1-10 scale. I had high scores in a couple of areas, but mostly I've been feeling like a completely useless failure, and that's affecting everything...most of the scores I gave myself were in the 2-4 range. I mentioned to my doctor that I'm feeling overwhelmed with so much I need to work on, improve, etc. But I did give myself credit for the work I've been doing around my house. I've been working hard, getting rid of a ton of clutter, and I'm proud of myself for that. She gave me lots of encouragement here, as well as an analogy that helped me step back from a lot of the negative self-talk I've been doing.
You know how when you clean a big mess, you have to spread things out and it looks even messier before it can be clean? She said that's where my health is right now. I'm doing the right things (giving up soda, changing some dietary habits, working out hard/frequently, continuing therapy), but my body is in the early stages of a major overhaul, and it feels like a train wreck right now. But that's one of the phases I have to go through to get to where I want to be. Okay then. Onward.
It was really helpful to have so many of my struggles validated. I really feel like this doctor understands and cares. She also checks in by email every couple of weeks. I've mentioned I love this insurance plan, right? The difference between this (silver level) and the plan I had last year (bronze) is night and day. Last year I paid $173/month to cover mostly nothing, really. This year I'm paying $273/month and I have NO copays, and I've already had like 12 (seriously) doctor visits this year. I can go to these doctors for ANYTHING I need, and it's covered. There are always same-day appointments available (ZoomCare only lets you book day-of for basic services). They have every kind of specialist I've ever heard of, and I can get on-demand appointments with any of them. $273/month is not a small chunk of change, but considering all the care I'm getting in all arenas of my health, it's a fucking bargain. But I'm privileged enough that I can afford this -- I don't feel like I should have to pay this much -- no one should. I think this is what healthcare SHOULD be at all levels. But we've got some shit to clean up before that's a reality. Soon, I hope.
