jianantonic: (Seahorse)
[personal profile] jianantonic
Upon arriving at our resort, we were immediately handed strawberry daiquiris, which started a conversation about how "free" alcohol is very often watered down.

Mom: When we were in Hawaii, they gave us lots of free drinks, but it was so watered down there was barely any alcohol in any of it.

Me: When was this? When you were there last year on your cruise?

Dad: No, when we went in the 80's.

Me: You mean when Mom was 8 months pregnant with me?

Dad: Oh yeah, you were there!

Me: So you're complaining that there wasn't enough alcohol in the drinks you had while you were pregnant with me?

Mom: There wasn't!

Me: You didn't get enough alcohol to satisfy you WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH ME?

Mom: Oh stop it, you're fine.

Me: I wonder how much more successful I'd be in life if you hadn't had all those watered down cocktails in Hawaii...

I am going to milk the SHIT out of this. Lose at cards? Maybe I'd have won if it weren't for that pina colada Mom drank in March of 83. Forget a trivia answer? Maybe I'd know if it weren't for my mom living it up on her babymoon. Drop a terrible fart? Oh, sorry, my body's a little messed up because Mom drank when she was pregnant with me.
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