(no subject)

I love how it's so cold in my office all the time. It's not that we blast the A/C, it's just that it's a big open space and I'm the one right under the vent, so my desk is the coolest. I brought in my extra EFO hoodie and I leave it here so I can wear it when I get cold. I just love bundling up - it's so cozy. But it's going to be another scorcher outside today. Oh well.

I fell asleep last night shortly after typing my entry. I showered, had a bowl of cereal, and zonked out. I woke up at 10, thinking it was probably the middle of the night, then again at 12:30, thinking it was time to get up and go to work. Luckily, both those times I was able to just nod right back off, but then I woke up sometime before 6am and never did manage to fall asleep again. It's like my body got used to my really terrible sleeping habits, even though it was torturous for me to wake up and get going after less than 6 hours of sleep, and now that I gave myself a chance to relax and unwind, my body wouldn't let me because that's not the pattern! Fucking OCD subconscious.

I'm not sore today, but I definitely feel fatigued. I don't know if I'll make it back to the gym tonight or not. If I had to go now, I definitely couldn't. Maybe I'll perk up as the day goes on...we'll see. I wish I could take a nap.

Peace.

Epiphany (of sorts)

So...I've been working out a lot. For like, a while now. And while my eating habits have never been great, they are certainly better than they were. And I think everyone knows I'd been pretty unhappy with my body for a while, and I've been going to the gym in hopes of a better body image. And I do have a better body image, but the one thing I can't explain is how I'm not fitting into smaller clothes yet. I mean, like a size or two smaller, yeah, but I'd hoped for better results than this...and then it occurred to me, I *do* fit in smaller clothes. BRAS. The only part of my body shrinking from all my vigorous training is the ONE part I'd like to keep AS IS. Oh well.

Anyway, this isn't really a huge woe-is-me post. It's meant to be funny and ironic. I take good care of myself. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to me, but there are some who find me beautiful, and dammit, I'm going to trust them on that one. Isn't there an Aesop's Fable along the lines of "be careful what you wish for"? Yeah. What that means is, be specific. I would like to lose ass weight, please. Thank you.

Peace.