(no subject)

I've been depressed and overwhelmed, and that led me to avoid LJ for a while. I need to catch up on what I've been missing. I miss you guys. This community is important to me. The support I get from friends here is really helpful. So why I'd abandon it in a time of woe is a mystery. Honestly, that's how depression can be. It's full of contradictions.

McKenzie and I are trying hard to move forward. We've got some mountains to climb, and it's already been incredibly challenging, but we're trying. Together. We don't know if our marriage will survive, but we're hopeful that our relationship will, anyway. That if we divorce or separate, we'll continue to love and care for each other. Obviously the relationship is going to change -- it's got to change no matter what. The status quo is a dead end. It's going to be a long road to wherever we're going, and we still don't know, but we're setting out together.

Am I healthy right now? Oh, heavens, no. But I'm not in danger. I'm confused and lost and scared, but I'm relying on a lot of great support. Family, therapy, friends...I know I'm cared for. I'll be okay. I am okay. And I will be okay no matter what happens next.

I do intend to return here more regularly, soon. I've just got a lot on my plate right now.