(no subject)

My wrist and foot are both still pretty bad. I'm certain that it's psychological rather than physiological, though. I'm sad, I'm worried -- and these things have manifested in physical pain. My wrist pain popped up last time my marriage was really in trouble, and went away finally when I fixed a lot of the things that were wrong there. Maybe patched is a better word than fixed. Right now we're both working pretty hard on rebuilding our relationship anew. We have all this history, and it's yucky, but it's not all bad -- it's good enough that we still want to be together...but it's really impossible to "start over." There's baggage. I've felt like a lot of times recently, McKenzie has called on the scoreboard as a trump card of sorts. Yeah, my past behavior is much worse than his. But if we're going to move forward together, I need to be treated as an equal. It's a difficult thing to navigate. We're doing pretty well, all things considered, and we both have hope for the happy resolution we both want, but the speedbumps along the way are frustrating and scary. We have more counseling this afternoon. I'm really glad we're doing that. It's not easy, but it's made my life so much better.