(no subject)

Yesterday, McKenzie actually reached out a little bit. It was the anniversary of our split, and he sent me a little note that he imagined it was as hard a day for me as it was for him. And it opened up a conversation that was very thoughtful, caring, and still devastating. I miss him SO MUCH. I'd be so much better at us now. But I don't know if that chance will ever come again, and thinking about him just living a life without me is so hard.

But it was nice to talk. To say some of those things to him. To have him acknowledge my feelings and be compassionate.

I'm doing the best that I can. Some days that feels like I'm still sinking.