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Jun. 14th, 2016 10:44 pmTwo different people canceled plans on me for back to back days -- tonight and tomorrow -- and I couldn't be more relieved. I slept until 3pm today (after a 2-hour foray into the real world at 8am to take Toby to work and then go to a clinic appointment for my drug trial). I did go to the gym tonight, and while I was there, my Wednesday lunch date sent a message canceling. So maybe I'll sleep 'til 3 again tomorrow!
Actually I get that this is not a good thing to do regularly, and I felt pretty shitty about doing it today, even, BUT I obviously needed that recharge, and hopefully one full day of doing almost nothing will be enough. I'm subbing for another trivia night tomorrow, then have my regular gig on Thursday, and Pride activities planned for this weekend, so I won't be a total hermit much longer anyway.
Yesterday I talked to my therapist about momentum. I've been feeling great and doing really well in most things lately, but I fear what comes after I reach some goals. One goal that's really kept me pushing hard is the Couch to 10K program I've been doing. I'm finishing up the 11th week of that now, and I'm regularly running 5+ miles 3x per week now. It's good for me to push this hard and build back to 10K form, but my body is letting me know that this has to be a hard boundary for now. The 15-mile weeks are really hurting my feet and back, and until I get more recovered there, I can't add more mileage. I'm going to need to back down from this mileage, too. And anyway just keeping going at goal isn't as exciting. I don't see myself making progress. I need another thing that I can gradually build on and watch my fitness improve. That will not be adding miles to my runs. So...what to do? I'm thinking maybe speed workouts? Maybe even hire a running coach for a little added accountability? My gym membership is about to become free (Toby's office is picking it up for both of us, yay progressive benefits for domestic partners!), so putting that money toward a coach could be a nice thing to do for myself...but I'm open to suggestions. The 100 pushup program was good and I should definitely give that another go...but that's not enough of a workout to be my main thing on the days that I do it. Any good cardio suggestions? Maaaaybe swimming, but swimming at my gym is such a pain because of all the extra gear you have to manage, and taking a wet swimsuit home in a gym bag...meh. But it is an option I'm willing to consider. More likely in conjunction with other types of cardio rather than something I'd have to do 3x a week or something. We'll see.
I have a lot of feelings about Orlando, too. Actually I think that's where my fatigue comes from right now. Just all the things I'm seeing people say in defense of guns, in opposition of Muslims, pro-hate, anti-gay, etc. It's just exhausting. The gun debate is exhausting. A room full of kindergartners wasn't enough to move the ammosexuals -- what will be? I fear that every fucking person in the US will have to die by gun violence before there's a change. I know some of my friends here have guns and value their right to them. (I'm 100% anti-gun personally, but that's not something I'm fighting for politically. I'm mostly okay with responsible people owning guns. I'm not coming to take anyone's guns and I'm not advocating that the government do that, either.) But there's so much space between being able to own a gun, and being able to get a semi-automatic weapon without a background check in a matter of minutes. I don't get why the other side of this issue is so unwilling to budge. Why people who insist that their own gun ownership is responsible and legal want it to be so easy for people who are not responsible to get guns. I don't get why this is political at all. But the debate rages, with neither side giving an inch. And it's fucking exhausting. When will reason get through? I'm tagging this post under politics, because that's the existing tag that best fits, but goddammit, why is this even a political issue?! Massacre is bad -- we agree on that, right? Ugh. The latest massacre makes me sad. What makes me saddest is that it's not yielding any change.
Actually I get that this is not a good thing to do regularly, and I felt pretty shitty about doing it today, even, BUT I obviously needed that recharge, and hopefully one full day of doing almost nothing will be enough. I'm subbing for another trivia night tomorrow, then have my regular gig on Thursday, and Pride activities planned for this weekend, so I won't be a total hermit much longer anyway.
Yesterday I talked to my therapist about momentum. I've been feeling great and doing really well in most things lately, but I fear what comes after I reach some goals. One goal that's really kept me pushing hard is the Couch to 10K program I've been doing. I'm finishing up the 11th week of that now, and I'm regularly running 5+ miles 3x per week now. It's good for me to push this hard and build back to 10K form, but my body is letting me know that this has to be a hard boundary for now. The 15-mile weeks are really hurting my feet and back, and until I get more recovered there, I can't add more mileage. I'm going to need to back down from this mileage, too. And anyway just keeping going at goal isn't as exciting. I don't see myself making progress. I need another thing that I can gradually build on and watch my fitness improve. That will not be adding miles to my runs. So...what to do? I'm thinking maybe speed workouts? Maybe even hire a running coach for a little added accountability? My gym membership is about to become free (Toby's office is picking it up for both of us, yay progressive benefits for domestic partners!), so putting that money toward a coach could be a nice thing to do for myself...but I'm open to suggestions. The 100 pushup program was good and I should definitely give that another go...but that's not enough of a workout to be my main thing on the days that I do it. Any good cardio suggestions? Maaaaybe swimming, but swimming at my gym is such a pain because of all the extra gear you have to manage, and taking a wet swimsuit home in a gym bag...meh. But it is an option I'm willing to consider. More likely in conjunction with other types of cardio rather than something I'd have to do 3x a week or something. We'll see.
I have a lot of feelings about Orlando, too. Actually I think that's where my fatigue comes from right now. Just all the things I'm seeing people say in defense of guns, in opposition of Muslims, pro-hate, anti-gay, etc. It's just exhausting. The gun debate is exhausting. A room full of kindergartners wasn't enough to move the ammosexuals -- what will be? I fear that every fucking person in the US will have to die by gun violence before there's a change. I know some of my friends here have guns and value their right to them. (I'm 100% anti-gun personally, but that's not something I'm fighting for politically. I'm mostly okay with responsible people owning guns. I'm not coming to take anyone's guns and I'm not advocating that the government do that, either.) But there's so much space between being able to own a gun, and being able to get a semi-automatic weapon without a background check in a matter of minutes. I don't get why the other side of this issue is so unwilling to budge. Why people who insist that their own gun ownership is responsible and legal want it to be so easy for people who are not responsible to get guns. I don't get why this is political at all. But the debate rages, with neither side giving an inch. And it's fucking exhausting. When will reason get through? I'm tagging this post under politics, because that's the existing tag that best fits, but goddammit, why is this even a political issue?! Massacre is bad -- we agree on that, right? Ugh. The latest massacre makes me sad. What makes me saddest is that it's not yielding any change.
