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Jan. 31st, 2018 06:42 pmI've been thinking about Rafal a lot lately. "Our song" just came on at the bar where I'm setting up for trivia. It's weird -- that's not a song that ever got much airplay, so hearing it was a real shock.
February is both the month of his birthday (he'd be 38 on the 20th) and the first anniversary of his death (I believe it was the 25th). I know it's going to be a hard month for his parents. I've gotten really close with them recently. I spent a lot of time with them over the holidays, and learned a lot about Rafal that I never knew. I was too young to do much critical thinking about his upbringing, but I realize now in my relationship with his parents, that he was incredibly secretive. They say they taught him to keep his past quiet. They all escaped Poland illegally when it was under pretty scary communist leadership. It was safe enough for them to go back for visits starting a few years after their escape, but I had no idea how harrowing their last few years there had been, or the circumstances under which they came to the US.
I'd also always believed Rafal's dad was his step-dad. That's what he'd told me, and that his bio dad was back in Poland. I haven't asked them about this, but it's clear from what they've told me that Krys is his bio dad and there is no other parent. It's possible they TOLD Rafal this to protect him, as Krys was a big player in the resistance movement in communist Poland, and they were constantly afraid for him. I think Rafal must have known by the time he was an adult, but I don't know if he knew when we were together. I'm not comfortable asking his parents about this, but I think they'll probably clarify that part of the story to me eventually. They've rehashed so many details of their lives that they kept secret for decades, out of fear of the Polish authorities.
Anyway, I will need to do something special for them this month. I have gotten to know them very well, and I love them very much. I'm so sad about the circumstances that brought us together, but I'm happy to have them in my life. I still don't know what I believe regarding afterlife or the immortal soul's ability to interact or even observe the mortal world, but I really hope that Rafal sees our relationship and is thankful. I hope he knows that I still care about him, and think of him often. I hope, somehow, one day he and I can talk again.
It's funny -- even though we were not in touch much at all, and people dropped like flies off of LJ as Facebook gained popularity, Rafal still read my blog. He commented occasionally. I used to have a tracker installed to see who was reading, and I saw that he was a regular visitor. I wish he could've been in touch with me when his life unravelled. I don't know if I could have helped, but I would have wanted to. I had no idea, unfortunately.
February is both the month of his birthday (he'd be 38 on the 20th) and the first anniversary of his death (I believe it was the 25th). I know it's going to be a hard month for his parents. I've gotten really close with them recently. I spent a lot of time with them over the holidays, and learned a lot about Rafal that I never knew. I was too young to do much critical thinking about his upbringing, but I realize now in my relationship with his parents, that he was incredibly secretive. They say they taught him to keep his past quiet. They all escaped Poland illegally when it was under pretty scary communist leadership. It was safe enough for them to go back for visits starting a few years after their escape, but I had no idea how harrowing their last few years there had been, or the circumstances under which they came to the US.
I'd also always believed Rafal's dad was his step-dad. That's what he'd told me, and that his bio dad was back in Poland. I haven't asked them about this, but it's clear from what they've told me that Krys is his bio dad and there is no other parent. It's possible they TOLD Rafal this to protect him, as Krys was a big player in the resistance movement in communist Poland, and they were constantly afraid for him. I think Rafal must have known by the time he was an adult, but I don't know if he knew when we were together. I'm not comfortable asking his parents about this, but I think they'll probably clarify that part of the story to me eventually. They've rehashed so many details of their lives that they kept secret for decades, out of fear of the Polish authorities.
Anyway, I will need to do something special for them this month. I have gotten to know them very well, and I love them very much. I'm so sad about the circumstances that brought us together, but I'm happy to have them in my life. I still don't know what I believe regarding afterlife or the immortal soul's ability to interact or even observe the mortal world, but I really hope that Rafal sees our relationship and is thankful. I hope he knows that I still care about him, and think of him often. I hope, somehow, one day he and I can talk again.
It's funny -- even though we were not in touch much at all, and people dropped like flies off of LJ as Facebook gained popularity, Rafal still read my blog. He commented occasionally. I used to have a tracker installed to see who was reading, and I saw that he was a regular visitor. I wish he could've been in touch with me when his life unravelled. I don't know if I could have helped, but I would have wanted to. I had no idea, unfortunately.
