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Mar. 18th, 2012 11:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicI am an odd mix of better than I expected to be and also fragile and emotionally crippled. I feel like my depression is in good check with my current level of treatment, because I certainly don't have the rage or even inclination toward rage and combatitiveness that used to guide my every action. (I understand how silly this statement looks after the friends-only rant I posted last night, but I swear it is true.) So I don't feel like it's necessary to up my meds or change anything chemically -- the meds are working in the way they're supposed to. They help me be exactly the kind of person that I want to be, emotionally.
But then there are other obstacles that are most likely symptoms of my depression, and I don't know what to do about them. I have work to do and I feel paralyzed, even though the work should be easy. I've been putting it off for weeks, and I can't put it off anymore. My productivity tank is empty, and I am mad at myself for being such a slacker. I could be working now. I really should be. But I will probably surf the web a bit more, read the news, shower, go for a walk, call my dad for his birthday, and do as many other things as I can to put this shit off. I really annoy myself.
But then there are other obstacles that are most likely symptoms of my depression, and I don't know what to do about them. I have work to do and I feel paralyzed, even though the work should be easy. I've been putting it off for weeks, and I can't put it off anymore. My productivity tank is empty, and I am mad at myself for being such a slacker. I could be working now. I really should be. But I will probably surf the web a bit more, read the news, shower, go for a walk, call my dad for his birthday, and do as many other things as I can to put this shit off. I really annoy myself.
