Uh...

[jianantonic]

You'd think bridge players would know the meaning of the terms "palliative care" and "hospice." But...not so much. A friend of mine from the bridge world was diagnosed with a pretty aggressive cancer a few months back, and recently moved into the palliative care wing of his local hospital, only to then be transferred to the hospice yesterday. His daughter has been posting updates to his Facebook page, and 90% of the responses include the messages "get well soon!" and "I can't wait to see you at the bridge tables again!" Umm...guys...seriously?

Comments

[istar.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm sorry about your bridge friend. I would speculate that obnoxious Facebook behavior is due to lack of context (oh, I saw a post in my news feed that so-and-so is sick, I should post a get-well message) and culture's general inability to confront dying.

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Thanks. He's an older guy and a smoker and it's not all that surprising that some form of nasty illness eventually caught up with him. It sucks, but it is what it is.

The get well messages were showing up as comments to his daughter's post "Barry was transfered to hospice today." I mean...super dense.

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Um. If this was me and my dad I would cut a bitch. But that's partly because I use FB as a means of staying in touch with people, and thus I also use it as a means of reaching out for support...if I posted that my dad was dying and all I got was cheery "get well soon" messages? I guess the upshot is that I'd have fewer people I cared to keep in touch with.

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Inability to confront dying definitely seems like a possibility.

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Wow, that is *super* dickish of people...I guess the upside is that they're not being malicious, just bumbling and clueless, but I would not want to be his family right now. Hopefully everyone who's closely involved has reached a point of peace already, where they won't be irritated by this sort of thing.

(For educational purposes, good answers include "I am thinking of you" and things of that nature.)