(no subject)

Of course it would happen that just after my conversation with flamingophoenix about how much healthier I am since my lifestyle change that I'd come down with my second ghastly cold in as many weeks. Yesterday at work, everyone on my floor was complaining of dizziness and tiredness and headaches, so we called maintenance to see if there was any chance of a carbon monoxide leak in our building. They said no, we have electric heat, that's not possible, get back to work. So we did. And today, we're all worse. So much worse that my boss didn't come in at all, half the people on the first floor (we're on the third) called out sick, and I left after being there for just two hours. I came home and napped with my husband, and I'm feeling a little better, but this is still like the worst I've felt in a long time. I seriously think it has something to do with our building, and not just that we're in close quarters so of course we're catching what everyone else has. We were all fine when we went into work yesterday, and it hit us all right around lunchtime. I'm convinced it's that damn building and this is one more thing on a long list of reasons why I want our offices moved to the recently-vacated-by-the-waterpark-personnel ag center. But they won't move us until our building collapses, so I'll just have to keep grumbling about it. At least I got to start my vacation a little earlier, albeit not at all the way I had hoped.

A thought occurred to me yesterday about marriage. I would like you, particularly those of you with Catholic backgrounds, to respond. I was thinking about how if you're Catholic and you divorce, you can't be remarried in a Catholic Church (unless you can find that one priest who's willing among the zillions who aren't) and you're a sinner and any subsequent marriages don't count and all that. But if you are widowed and you remarry, that's not a problem, right? And I thought that this was kind of an issue. I mean, not just with Catholics, but the fact that people can so often remarry after the loss of a spouse - I'm married to Jeremy and that's that. He's my husband and as far as I'm concerned (unless we divorce, which I don't expect), and we made certain our vows said "forever," instead of "'til death...." Okay, I don't have a problem with people who divorce or people who remarry after being widowed, but it's not for me. What good is going to heaven if I can't be there with my soul mate? Anyway, this is not meant to be a discussion of soul mates and whether or not they exist, but a discussion of church policy and why it is what it is. Jer's take on it is that marriage is a contract until death, as evidenced by the common vows, "'til death do us part." But I think if it's a sacrament, that would mean that it has a significance more holy than an earthly thing. All the other sacraments signify some kind of bond to God. Baptism, confirmation, ordination, extreme unction, eucharist, and confession all have to do with strengthening your relationship with God and boosting your chances of acceptance into heaven, though I know that's a crude way to put it. So in what way does marriage accomplish this? And for what reason should that sacrament only exist on earth and not in the afterlife? If you remarry and both your marriages are accepted by the church, then are you a bigamist in the afterlife? I don't get it. Maybe I'm wrong about remarriage and it's not accepted in the Catholic Church. I think I'm going to email one of my professors about this. But I still want your input.

Peace.

Bit o' happiness

I can't believe I forgot to mention this!
When I was getting ready for work this morning, I wasn't turned on by any of the clothes I'd picked out the night before, so I went back to my closet. I don't keep many clothes in my closet, really - I have a laundry fixture where I hang all my professional clothes for easy access (because I'm too lazy to walk from the dryer to my closet) - so mostly what's in my closet are things that are out of season or that I haven't worn in years. A pair of pants jumped out at me though. I'd bought them for my senior portraits just after my 20th birthday. That was when I'd first started gaining weight and wasn't quite feeling bad about it yet. They're a size bigger than what I wore the first two years of college, but a size smaller than what I've worn lately. I hadn't worn them since shortly after my portraits, because I had gained too much weight and they didn't fit. At this point, I've lost all but six pounds of the 30+ that I've gained in the 2 1/2 years since, but I'm still wearing larger sizes (grr) and I didn't expect them to fit. But I like them a lot and was feeling hopeful this morning, so I tried them on. And they fit! Comfortably! And when I went downstairs to ask the HR director if I could leave (since my boss was out sick herself, I couldn't ask her), she asked me "Are you losing weight? You look so small!" *GRINS* Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say "small." Compared to what I was, yeah, I am, but compared to what I was two years before that - still a lardo. But I'm getting there. And to think it only took me 3 months to get back to my healthy college weight, I could be down to high school weight by summer. Still not divulging numbers, but for some perspective:
When I started high school, I was too thin. Way too thin. My late-onset puberty added 30 pounds to that and then I was just thin. Still very thin, actually, but healthy.
I stayed thin in my two years on the basketball team. When I quit playing for the high school, my weight gradually climbed over the next two years by 20 pounds. When I graduated high school, I was still thin, but not skinny. Actually, I had a hot body at this point in my life. And my acne had finally cleared up. Man, I was a babe. (I took a little too much advantage of that, too. Senior year was my promiscuous year.)
College came and I went to the gym every day, maybe gaining 5 pounds over the course of my freshman year, but I went up two pants sizes. I could still wear small or medium tops.
In my second year in college, I met Jeremy, stopped feeling the need to impress, started the birth control patch, and within weeks had gained 20 pounds. I blame the patch. I was still going to the gym regularly, but couldn't lose any weight no matter what I did. And I was working out all the time. It was definitely the patch. I only went up one size with all 20 of those pounds, though.
Since meeting my beloved, I've had a series of events that led to packing on more poundage. 30 more over the next three years. Stress, remaining on the patch, breaking my foot...
Anyway, at my highest weight, I'd gone up one more size (though realistically, 2, I just didn't want to admit it and squeezed a lot of zippers to continue my denial). Right now I'm at the size I was when I was 20 and the weight I was right after being on the patch. I quit the patch earlier this year, and have had a drastic turnaround in lifestyle, as you all have read.
I'm happy with my progress. My short-term goal is to go down one more pant size by February, and lose those six more pounds by then, too. My long-term goal is to lose another 25-30 pounds and fit into some of my high school clothes. We'll see. I'd be really sad if I never wore my crazy jeans again...

Peace.