(no subject)

[jianantonic]

This would be a good question for various communities, but I feel more like hearing from my friends on this one.

If you have kids, real or hypothetical, how old will they be/were they when you stopped getting babysitters?

Please think about this both in terms of evenings out and overnights alone.

I ask this because I think some folks I know are being way too nuts about this. See, I was seven years old the last time I had a babysitter. By the time I was eleven, my parents were okay leaving me home overnight by myself, and by fourteen, I was walking around big cities on my own and staying home alone for several days at a time. Now, I was an independent, capable kid, so I understand that not many families would turn their kids loose so young, but it weirds me out when my older friends can't come see a movie with me because they can't get a babysitter for their twelve-year-old. I mean, I was a babysitter by the time I was 10. Cheez.

Those who still remember - when did your folks phase out the sitters?

ETA: Please don't think my parents were terrible people. Even if I was home alone, there was always someone accessible - like my brothers lived a few minutes away or my next door neighbor knew I was home alone and would stop by to check on things. And also I think it's a difference in the times. Granted, I grew up in the eighties and nineties, but my brothers are almost a whole generation older than I am. Raising kids in the sixties and seventies was a lot more chill than it is now, I guess, and my parents were still following the same standard they followed with my brothers. Although I do think they were more lax with me because my oldest brother ran away from home at 17 to "escape oppression" or some shit. And I turned out to be the most well-adjusted of us all.

Comments

[natertots.livejournal.com]

For overnights or longer? someone had to be 18, because someone had to act as legal guardian in the event of an emergency.

For going out for the night... I think it was 15 or 16.

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Really?
In the event of an emergency, I always had neighbors close by or a list of a gajillion phone numbers. I think the worst thing that ever happened when I was home alone was that I broke a lamp. Or that I puked all over the bathroom and didn't clean up after myself because it was gross. But I always was able to take care of myself.
15, really?

[natertots.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure.
I *know* for my sisters it was around that age...

For me I think it may have been younger, since, like, they'd gotten a little calmer by then.
but definitely not younger than 14 or so.

For us, we didn't have neighbors, so that wasn't really an option as, like, a "watch our house/kid" thing.

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Yeah, living on a farm (or just having really horrible neighbors) would definitely change things.

But the gajillion phone numbers could make it better, even in a situation like that.

[natertots.livejournal.com]

Well, not a farm... just the middle of the woods on the top of a mountain. :)

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

My mom is completely horrified that most teenage sex occurs during that 2-3 hour block, when the kids are home from school but before the parents get home from work.

So is your sister hideously irresponsible, or are your parents just overprotective?


(Overprotective parent solidarity!)

Although I suppose there could be another explanation, as well.

[lalalizbeth.livejournal.com]

my parents were pretty strict, and i think it was unnecessary.

however, i think it depends on the individual kid. there are 10-year-olds that i'd leave home alone if they were comfortable with it, and there are 18-year-olds who i'd NEVER leave alone with the house overnight.

mostly, though, i'd say 10 is a good age for evenings out and 15 is a good age for overnights. overnights are different, because i'd probably just encourage my kid to spend the night at a friend's, so they weren't alone in the house.

[bigonbnl.livejournal.com]

I was home alone a lot at 9 or 10 and babysat Amanda all summer long and every evening at that time. Like you, we were both capable responsible kids (at the time ha ha) and had a ton of people to call if there was a problem. Now that I have kids, I can't tell you how I'll be. Where we live will have a huge bearing on that since Gramma and Grandad and an aunt and uncle are on the same lane. It will definitely depend on the kid. Right now, as I see it, Clayton will be 32 before I can trust that he will feed himself and properly use the bathroom, but Julie I think will be much more independent.

So my answer - I'll let ya know in 5 or 6 years. HOWEVER, I should think that a 12 year old would be OK for a few hours while I went to a movie. *shrugs*

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Before this week, I would have been weirded out by letting a 14-year-old wander around a big city alone...however, I spent the week with some of the most mature 14-year-olds I have ever met. (And their parents.) And they were, in fact, capable of wandering around a big city (Munich) without any problems.

Actually spending time with kids really changes your opinion about them, I think. Although "kid" is really stretching it for 14. I dunno. Terminology is such a bitch. "Teen" is just a silly word, I think.

I think I was 10 when my parents first left me alone for an evening. I don't think they EVER left me alone for a whole night or a weekend, though--I would just go to a friend's house for a sleepover in such a circumstance. (Plus circumstances like that almost never happened--my parents don't travel, really.)

I plan to be a travelin' person, though, or at least I hope to be. I would say....well, it depends on a lot of factors. If there are responsible neighbors to keep an eye on things, and stuff like that, I'd be fine leaving say a 14-16 year old home alone for the weekend, assuming he/she was responsible and mature.

Good lord, I need to stop posting things while still jetlagged.

Quick summary: It depends on the maturity of the child in question and the availability of neighbors/etc in case of emergency. But mostly I don't think leaving kids alone is too bad.

[pwylltwiceborn.livejournal.com]

I was probably 12ish before long periods w/out babysitter kicked in, but by then sib and I were 12 and 8--10 and 6 would be a little effed up.

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Anyone who leaves a 6-year-old alone with a 10-year-old has some serious issues. (Again, it depends on the maturity of the individual children, but in general, yeah.) Good point, bringing up the presence of other children. Young'uns are a handful for an adult, let alone a prepubescent child.

Then again, if said 10-year-old were extremely responsible, and said 6-year-old were preternaturally calm and non-getting-into-trouble, I could see leaving them alone for some time.