(no subject)

[jianantonic]

I got a phone call at work from a woman who'd signed up for our free newsbites but wanted to make sure it wasn't a hoax, because her randomly-assigned password was "asshol." They're set up to be simple combinations of vowels and consonants...and I swear it's totally random. We had a good laugh over that.

Not much else is going on today...Shelly sent out a hilarious email...I'm craving jokes now. Got any good ones? Feel free to share. Dirty, clean, tasteless, whatever...

Peace.

Comments

[kixeldorado.livejournal.com]

This one's only really funny if you have anything to do with aviation, but it's one of my favorites:

How is it that helicopters can fly?
They're so ugly the earth repels them.

__________________

A biologist, a chemist and a physicist were at the beach. The biologist said: "I want to study the coral structure of the sea" so he went into the sea, and then was swept out by a wave and was never seen again.
The physicist said "I want to study the physics of the motion of the sea waves" so he went into the sea and was carried away by the current, never to be seen again
The chemist thought for a moment, took out a pen and a paper and wrote down "both biologists and physicists are soluble in water."
(Yeah, it's bad)

_____________________

Two cows are standing in a field. The one cow goes "man, are you worried about this mad cow disease that's spreading?" and the other cow goes "Worried? Why would I be worried? I'm a penguin!"

______________________


What's green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you?
A pool table.


:)

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Thanks:) That last one was part of my arsenal of clean-but-funny jokes from senior year of high school. Most of their humor came from the fact that they were being told by the chick who had the reputation for telling the most vile, crass, perverted jokes the halls of AHS have ever known.

Some others from that arsenal, since you seem to be a fan of this type:

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms

What do you call cheese that you don't own?
Nacho cheese!

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a cat

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

[flamingophoenix.livejournal.com]

Nacho cheese!

[pwylltwiceborn.livejournal.com]

what do you call a black man who flies airplanes?

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

A pilot, you fuckin' racist. Another favorite of mine:)

[oobermeister.livejournal.com]

why did hitler commit suicide?

he saw his gas bill.


(i'm so going to hell for that one)

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Bad Jew!

[pwylltwiceborn.livejournal.com]

a gay man, a child molester, and a priest walked into a bar.

and that was just the first guy.

Re: cheesier than Cheez Waffies

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Nice.

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

Nose burns. Apple juice everywhere.

[jianantonic.livejournal.com]

No, no, keep 'em coming, I like these!