(no subject)
Nov. 28th, 2006 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicAfter doing her best to actually kill me, my trainer forbade me to set foot in the gym for the next two days. So I guess I'm going shopping tomorrow. Though this time off does put a kink in my plans...with the bridge tournament this weekend, I don't know when I'll get to work out then, either...so it might be a five day break, but I hope it's not. I am going to need tomorrow off, though. I am badly aching already, and it's always worse the next day. She worked me so hard...it's punishment for the time I took off;)
Even though I was so fatigued and sucking hard core by the end of my torture session, she complimented me on a job well done and obvious improvement. And when I got home, even my mother had nice things to say about the way I look. Jen says I'm one of her favorite clients because I always take her torture with a smile and I never hold it against her. And she takes delight in torturing me because she knows how much it's going to pay off. She's right - even though I'm so sore after working with her, I always feel a zillion times better.
We did some pilates and yoga to end our session because I was so tight, and I was feeling really good until I spoke to Jeremy. Nothing against Jeremy - it's just that we had a conversation that is never fun to have. We're getting divorced. We're going to lawyers to make the separation legal by the end of this year, and we're going to be divorced as soon as legally possible. I'm ready, and he's ready, and that in itself is a blessing, but it's still very sad to do, even though we both knew it was coming. The good news is we're going through this as people who love each other and are supportive and not vindictive. Aside from the emotional trauma of saying goodbye to a marriage, I think we're going to be lucky in the divorce department. No hardball, no lawsuits, no challenges...at least that is what I truly believe and trust Jeremy for, and I believe he trusts me, too. It's almost a shame we have to pay lawyers at all.
But some of my friends have hinted at this and I'd like to take a moment to address something.
I do love Jeremy. I always will, but over time I've come to realize it's a love not suited to a marriage. Jeremy is a good guy and I want the best for him. He says the same about me and I believe he means it. I don't want any friends to even think for a minute I want you to take "my side" in this. It's okay with me if "my" friends still want to be pals with Jer. I promise I won't resent that at all. In fact, I hope that one day it will be easy and natural for us all to get together in the same groups we always have. I just won't be sitting in Jer's lap this time.
Talking about my marriage WILL make me cry. Hopefully one day it won't, but it's sad. I can't help it. I WON'T BE MAD AT YOU IF YOU MAKE ME CRY. It happens. Ask questions if you want. I don't mind. I don't want you to feel like you need to tiptoe around me. Friends understand each other, and you can't understand me or what I've been through if you ignore the biggest thing in my life this year. So it's okay. But please do avoid the "I knew you guys wouldn't last" comments. I've heard them already, and believe it or not, THEY DON'T HELP.
Lastly, please don't feel the need to hide your happy news from me just because I'm going through a rough patch and you don't want to rub it in. You are my friends. I want to be happy for you when you're happy. That requires knowing when you're happy. I do feel like a lot of friends have stepped back from me because they don't know how to talk to me right now, and that's not what I need or want. Sometimes there are tears, but believe it or not I'm actually in a much better place now. If I weren't I wouldn't be so sure divorce is the right step. But generally, I'm happy. I work out, I'm in Charlottesville, my job is great...I'm okay. So don't worry about me. Treat me like a normal friend, okay?
That's all. So...who's been holding back good news that they want to share now? Anyone? I know some of you have done it. Out with it.
Peace.
Even though I was so fatigued and sucking hard core by the end of my torture session, she complimented me on a job well done and obvious improvement. And when I got home, even my mother had nice things to say about the way I look. Jen says I'm one of her favorite clients because I always take her torture with a smile and I never hold it against her. And she takes delight in torturing me because she knows how much it's going to pay off. She's right - even though I'm so sore after working with her, I always feel a zillion times better.
We did some pilates and yoga to end our session because I was so tight, and I was feeling really good until I spoke to Jeremy. Nothing against Jeremy - it's just that we had a conversation that is never fun to have. We're getting divorced. We're going to lawyers to make the separation legal by the end of this year, and we're going to be divorced as soon as legally possible. I'm ready, and he's ready, and that in itself is a blessing, but it's still very sad to do, even though we both knew it was coming. The good news is we're going through this as people who love each other and are supportive and not vindictive. Aside from the emotional trauma of saying goodbye to a marriage, I think we're going to be lucky in the divorce department. No hardball, no lawsuits, no challenges...at least that is what I truly believe and trust Jeremy for, and I believe he trusts me, too. It's almost a shame we have to pay lawyers at all.
But some of my friends have hinted at this and I'd like to take a moment to address something.
I do love Jeremy. I always will, but over time I've come to realize it's a love not suited to a marriage. Jeremy is a good guy and I want the best for him. He says the same about me and I believe he means it. I don't want any friends to even think for a minute I want you to take "my side" in this. It's okay with me if "my" friends still want to be pals with Jer. I promise I won't resent that at all. In fact, I hope that one day it will be easy and natural for us all to get together in the same groups we always have. I just won't be sitting in Jer's lap this time.
Talking about my marriage WILL make me cry. Hopefully one day it won't, but it's sad. I can't help it. I WON'T BE MAD AT YOU IF YOU MAKE ME CRY. It happens. Ask questions if you want. I don't mind. I don't want you to feel like you need to tiptoe around me. Friends understand each other, and you can't understand me or what I've been through if you ignore the biggest thing in my life this year. So it's okay. But please do avoid the "I knew you guys wouldn't last" comments. I've heard them already, and believe it or not, THEY DON'T HELP.
Lastly, please don't feel the need to hide your happy news from me just because I'm going through a rough patch and you don't want to rub it in. You are my friends. I want to be happy for you when you're happy. That requires knowing when you're happy. I do feel like a lot of friends have stepped back from me because they don't know how to talk to me right now, and that's not what I need or want. Sometimes there are tears, but believe it or not I'm actually in a much better place now. If I weren't I wouldn't be so sure divorce is the right step. But generally, I'm happy. I work out, I'm in Charlottesville, my job is great...I'm okay. So don't worry about me. Treat me like a normal friend, okay?
That's all. So...who's been holding back good news that they want to share now? Anyone? I know some of you have done it. Out with it.
Peace.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-30 12:13 am (UTC)I miss you.
I also have a new crush.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-30 12:29 am (UTC)I miss you too. I guess you're not making a midweek trip for Tracy this year, huh?
Is the new crush someone you kinda sorta mentioned before? From another state...? Let's chat.