jianantonic | The consequences of affection

Me, to McKenzie: I had the most awful dream last night. It started off just kind of weird. I was babysitting Lucy at my parents' house for the whole day, and really it was just kind of boring. But then she wanted to make popcorn bombs, and that sounded like fun. My mom had shown her how to make them the day before, and she was telling me how to do it. You get a plastic cup, fill it with popcorn kernels, then light a match in it and throw it into the woods, and it will explode.
So I was going into the kitchen to get the supplies, when all of a sudden I felt this thing latch onto my face, like a giant insect.
(McKenzie starts laughing)
I tried to brush it off, but it was huge and it wasn't budging, and I didn't want to touch it because I didn't want bug smoosh on my face. So I asked Lucy, and she said it was A HUGE BUG! I was really creeped out, and nothing was getting the thing off me. Then I saw its friend. A giant tarantula crawled out of where we'd been looking for popcorn. Was there a tarantula on my face?!
I finally mustered the courage to pull it off the side of my head and threw it on the ground, then called a vet to find out what to do with the two spiders. The thing's leg was in my ear, and my ear still hurts!
(McKenzie is fighting hard now to suppress laughter)
What?!
McKenzie: Sorry I ruined your dream.
Me: What?
McKenzie: I kissed you on your ear in the middle of the night, and you swatted at me like a bug. I think I was your tarantula.
Me: What time was this?
McKenzie: Sometime after 3:30am.
Me: Yes! You asshole! My ear STILL hurts!
McKenzie: Sorry.
Me: I have to blog about this.
McKenzie: I figured.

Peace.