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Oct. 25th, 2008 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicWe flew out of Richmond a little after 7am, had a quick layover in Chicago, and arrived in Portland at noon local time. This was our quickest and easiest trip out here yet. I hope we can get deals on this same route again in the future. For last minute tickets, these prices weren't bad, but it was still a lot more than we usually pay. We also never fly on weekends if we can help it. Other than a small hitch at our hotel this morning, it's been a really nice, easy travel day.
We ate at a Lebanese restaurant in Portland when we arrived, which I think I'll write about later for PT, because it was a neat little place. But I don't have the energy now.
When we got to Salem, we went straight to Dorothy's house to help McKenzie's aunt and uncle sort through her things and try to get the house ready to sell, I guess. That was...really sad. There's some twisted history in this family that I think makes this more difficult for everyone. There are several estranged relatives that I've never met, but many of them have said they'll be at the memorial service, so I guess I'll meet them -- but it's shaping up to be a really tense day. Anyway, going through the house wasn't exactly fun, but she does have lots of neat collections and things. We were told to take anything we wanted, because anything we don't take will go to Goodwill. I took some collectors' plates -- she has zillions of them -- most of them have no real meaning to me or anyone else in the family, but they meant something to her, obviously, and I feel like such things should stay in the family. I just took about 10 of them (hardly a dent in the collection) that had things that meant something to me -- mostly mountains or other landmarks that I've visited myself. My father-in-law and uncle-in-law insisted that McKenzie and I take her bedroom set, which is nearly new, so as soon as we figure out how to get it up to Portland, we're going to have a very nicely furnished apartment in Dave's house.
I've never participated in the post-passing cleanup before. My mom's mother had been moved to a nursing home 10 years before she died and all of her things were dispersed gradually over time long before her death. When Marma died, I couldn't go near her apartment for months, even though it was right next to my own bedroom. My mom, dad, aunts and uncles took care of all her things. I even stopped using the bathroom we'd shared. We'd been so close my whole life; it was too hard for me. So I know what a challenge it must be for Z's family to go in there with this loss so raw still. But it has to be done and there's no one else to do it...so we're going to be spending more time there as the week goes on. It sucks, but I'm glad we were able to get out here to help.
I'm sad that I've had so little time with my husband's grandparents; but I'm so happy to have gotten to know them. He's lost both grandmothers this year, and even though I spent very little time with either, I was so immediately accepted into this family that I really did feel like they were more than just in-laws. His surviving grandfather is probably the sweetest man on the planet. I've been lucky to spend a lot of time with him while we've been in Oregon, and I love him so much. My heart breaks for him, though, because I know how much he misses his wife and still aches for her every day. I know McKenzie does, too. You get used to loss, but it never gets easy. I still miss my grandmothers very much, and I'll always wish I'd known my grandfathers...
It's nice to be back in Oregon, anyway. I do love it here, and I really appreciate Z's family's generosity, giving us that bedroom furniture for our move. I hadn't really thought about how inadequately furnished Dave's basement is for permanent residence. It's got a double bed and an end table, and about 500 square feet of empty space. We're not sure how we're going to get everything up to Portland and then down into the basement, but we'll figure it out. It's not a huge priority at the moment. We'll be here for 9 days.
Thanks to everyone who's expressed their support. We appreciate it.
Peace.
We ate at a Lebanese restaurant in Portland when we arrived, which I think I'll write about later for PT, because it was a neat little place. But I don't have the energy now.
When we got to Salem, we went straight to Dorothy's house to help McKenzie's aunt and uncle sort through her things and try to get the house ready to sell, I guess. That was...really sad. There's some twisted history in this family that I think makes this more difficult for everyone. There are several estranged relatives that I've never met, but many of them have said they'll be at the memorial service, so I guess I'll meet them -- but it's shaping up to be a really tense day. Anyway, going through the house wasn't exactly fun, but she does have lots of neat collections and things. We were told to take anything we wanted, because anything we don't take will go to Goodwill. I took some collectors' plates -- she has zillions of them -- most of them have no real meaning to me or anyone else in the family, but they meant something to her, obviously, and I feel like such things should stay in the family. I just took about 10 of them (hardly a dent in the collection) that had things that meant something to me -- mostly mountains or other landmarks that I've visited myself. My father-in-law and uncle-in-law insisted that McKenzie and I take her bedroom set, which is nearly new, so as soon as we figure out how to get it up to Portland, we're going to have a very nicely furnished apartment in Dave's house.
I've never participated in the post-passing cleanup before. My mom's mother had been moved to a nursing home 10 years before she died and all of her things were dispersed gradually over time long before her death. When Marma died, I couldn't go near her apartment for months, even though it was right next to my own bedroom. My mom, dad, aunts and uncles took care of all her things. I even stopped using the bathroom we'd shared. We'd been so close my whole life; it was too hard for me. So I know what a challenge it must be for Z's family to go in there with this loss so raw still. But it has to be done and there's no one else to do it...so we're going to be spending more time there as the week goes on. It sucks, but I'm glad we were able to get out here to help.
I'm sad that I've had so little time with my husband's grandparents; but I'm so happy to have gotten to know them. He's lost both grandmothers this year, and even though I spent very little time with either, I was so immediately accepted into this family that I really did feel like they were more than just in-laws. His surviving grandfather is probably the sweetest man on the planet. I've been lucky to spend a lot of time with him while we've been in Oregon, and I love him so much. My heart breaks for him, though, because I know how much he misses his wife and still aches for her every day. I know McKenzie does, too. You get used to loss, but it never gets easy. I still miss my grandmothers very much, and I'll always wish I'd known my grandfathers...
It's nice to be back in Oregon, anyway. I do love it here, and I really appreciate Z's family's generosity, giving us that bedroom furniture for our move. I hadn't really thought about how inadequately furnished Dave's basement is for permanent residence. It's got a double bed and an end table, and about 500 square feet of empty space. We're not sure how we're going to get everything up to Portland and then down into the basement, but we'll figure it out. It's not a huge priority at the moment. We'll be here for 9 days.
Thanks to everyone who's expressed their support. We appreciate it.
Peace.
