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Feb. 4th, 2004 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicI'm sooooo behind in everything I should be doing. It sucks. I get calls every day from the registrars office reminding me that I don't have enough credits to graduate (I will, if I ever finish my incompletes). No one has said squat about my incompletes from fall, so I'm wondering if Fogarty decided to just turn in Cs and Ds instead of failing me or waiting on my papers. I hope so. I don't want to do them and I don't want to fail. I thought I was done with last semester when I told him just to give me 0s on those papers...but he didn't want to pass me unless I turned in everything...well the deadline to turn it all in passed last week. I honestly would have tried to write them on time, but I couldn't find my notes. Still can't. Oh well. Don't care, really. I just hope I haven't royally fucked myself.
Jon came over and hung out for a while last night. Jon's the shit. Unlike most of his friends, I really enjoy having him around. Unfortunately, I have Shayne in one of my classes. Here's the thing with Shayne...I've told the story before about how he and his buddies made me feel the worst I've ever felt in my life...well, Shayne apologized to me last semester. But he didn't just say, "I'm sorry, I know you must've felt awful," he said something more like "I'm sorry, but I was depressed last year and it made me do weird things." Um, that's not an apology, that's an excuse. Nowhere in there did he acknowledge that he treated me like no human being should ever be treated. Nowhere in there did he demonstrate any remote understanding of the absolute pain he caused me. So I appreciate the attempt at an apology and if he really is sorry, that's fine and I don't hate him, but I can't look at him or think about him and not think about how awful he made me feel. And now I have a class with him - a class which is strictly discussion, so even if I do manage to escape being paired up with him for problem solving through the rest of the semester, I still have to hear him talk every class. And every time I see him, I just feel very hurt. When I first saw him in the class, I started shaking, and I didn't stop shaking until I was in my car on the way home. So what would've probably been my favorite class this term is definitely my most dreaded. I wish it wasn't like that, because I feel really immature about not being able to be in the same room with this person, but that's just the way it is and I can't help it and it's all his fault anyway. I was a good friend to all of those assholes, for way too long.
Anyhow, I have a life to attend to now. Peace.
Jon came over and hung out for a while last night. Jon's the shit. Unlike most of his friends, I really enjoy having him around. Unfortunately, I have Shayne in one of my classes. Here's the thing with Shayne...I've told the story before about how he and his buddies made me feel the worst I've ever felt in my life...well, Shayne apologized to me last semester. But he didn't just say, "I'm sorry, I know you must've felt awful," he said something more like "I'm sorry, but I was depressed last year and it made me do weird things." Um, that's not an apology, that's an excuse. Nowhere in there did he acknowledge that he treated me like no human being should ever be treated. Nowhere in there did he demonstrate any remote understanding of the absolute pain he caused me. So I appreciate the attempt at an apology and if he really is sorry, that's fine and I don't hate him, but I can't look at him or think about him and not think about how awful he made me feel. And now I have a class with him - a class which is strictly discussion, so even if I do manage to escape being paired up with him for problem solving through the rest of the semester, I still have to hear him talk every class. And every time I see him, I just feel very hurt. When I first saw him in the class, I started shaking, and I didn't stop shaking until I was in my car on the way home. So what would've probably been my favorite class this term is definitely my most dreaded. I wish it wasn't like that, because I feel really immature about not being able to be in the same room with this person, but that's just the way it is and I can't help it and it's all his fault anyway. I was a good friend to all of those assholes, for way too long.
Anyhow, I have a life to attend to now. Peace.
