Marching to the beat of a different mandolin

I'm finally starting to feel more human that sick, which is a good thing, because this week kicks off <dramatic music>HALF MARATHON TRAINING.</dramatic music>

I'm doing almost the exact same running schedule that I did last year, with short runs on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and my long run on Sunday. I'll see Ertan every Monday or Tuesday for a strength session, and I'll do at least one Body Pump class per week -- probably Monday and sometimes Wednesday or Saturday. I don't want to overload myself -- days off are important! -- but I also don't want to be weak in every category besides running, so I'm trying to focus more on the strength training this time around. I may shift some days around and do a short run on Tuesdays and then strength on Wednesdays -- that probably actually makes more sense. Can't do that this week, though, because I have a DI training meeting tomorrow during Pump class time. I'm going to be an appraiser at the regional tournament this year, and probably also the state level, if it's when I'm in town. I'm really excited :)

Anyway, I took most of last week off from the gym, because I very nearly fainted when I tried to get through a training session last Monday. Then this Monday, I went to Pump. I thought I'd lighten my weights since I hadn't been in a few weeks, but I actually felt okay doing my usual thing, so that was nice. The squats and lunges were the only part where I didn't feel good -- I didn't feel like I could drop as far as I normally do. Not sure if that's from having been ill or just being out of shape. Either way I'll build my way back to that.

Today I saw Ertan, and I was still sore from yesterday, but it went pretty well. My strength is back, and my endurance is okay, but holy shit, I got so winded doing the simplest thing -- jumps. He had me jump across the gym, squatting low with each landing. It was about 20 jumps per set. It was by far the hardest of all the things he asked me to do, and it was one of the only ones where I wasn't using any weight besides my own body. I was kind of embarrassed at how difficult it was for me. I kept having to take breathers mid-set. But I got through the workout and I feel well exercised now. Tomorrow I'm just running 3 miles, so it doesn't really matter that I'm sore. That doesn't affect my running too much, so it's all good. Maybe I'll run outside if the weather doesn't suck. Big maybe, though -- the weather has totally sucked for the last few days. We're getting east coast style rains, and it's cold, and I'm over it.

I've signed up for another half marathon. The Portland Rock 'n' Roll on May 18th. I guess I'm really doing this. I've been unhappy about how little running I've done since the last one, and would definitely like to get back into that kind of shape, but oh god, training sucked so much last year. I'm giving myself more time to train this time, and I'm also going into it with a slightly different attitude, but it's still going to be hard. While I'm excited that I took this plunge, I know it's going to come with a lot of stress. The new attitude is that it's not my first one so A) I do know I can do it and B) I don't feel any pressure to beat a particular time, or to run the whole thing without stopping, etc. I'm going to let myself take it at a comfortable (hah!) pace. It'll be okay. And several friends have already signed up, too. Anyone else want in? You can stay at my place if you need to travel to get here, and I'll help with airline miles if you can't afford plane tickets. I'm always happy to have additional support, whether it's alongside me in the race or just hanging out and cheering me on.

The new BodyPump release came out this weekend. The workout is fine, but the music is kind of shitty compared to the last few releases, so it's not as fun. It sounds like the instructors don't like it much, either, and they're probably only going to teach it for a couple of weeks and then go back to one of the older releases, which is fine. I did add weight on every track for the first time. So far I had gone up only on the back track, but this time I warmed up with five extra pounds (I know, really going for it), and added five or ten extra pounds to every track. I got through it, but did have to give myself breaks on triceps and shoulders. Chest was a BITCH but I muscled through. I probably should've gone up on squats before now, because that wasn't really too difficult with extra weight. Anyway, glad to see improvement.

I'm kind of stressing over how I will manage my training this time around. Last time I was all in on the running, and basically everything else suffered, and I actually got weaker. I don't want that to happen this time, but I know keeping up with lifting and cross training in general is going to feel like so much effort on top of what I'll be doing already. I want to keep going to BodyPump, and I'll see Ertan every Monday, so I'm trying to decide which days are best for my running days -- last year I did short runs on WTF and the long run on Sunday, with Ertan on Mondays and Tuesdays and Saturdays off. I like that schedule because it coincides well with my work schedule, and even when I'm playing in a bridge tournament, it's easy enough to fit in a long run on Sunday. But will I want to go to BodyPump on Wednesdays after work if I'm running three miles on my lunch break? That feels like a lot for one day. So do I move somethings around? Do I fill in my days off with cross training instead? I just don't know what the most workable situation will be. I'll play with it these first few weeks where the training is low mileage...we'll see. Apologies for how boring this blog will be while I obsess over this for the next few months :)

My boss came back from lunch with his dog in tow. Puppy! Actually, very old yellow lab, but still, puppy! I wish he'd bring her every day. Apparently today is a special circumstance because they were having some contractors working at the house and the dog was freaked out. I wish we had an office dog. Well, my boss can't say he didn't open the window. Now I get to start bugging him about it all the time. Can we get a dog, please, please, can we?

Anyway.

I ran 3 miles today. I ran a half marathon three months ago, and now it's a struggle to run more than a few strides. That's part plantar fasciitis and part lack of motivation. Mostly plantar fasciitis, I think? But I have enjoyed the legit excuse to not run. On the flip side, I'm gaining weight and out of shape and I kinda agreed to do another half marathon in a few months, so I need to get real. I bought some insoles that are supposed to help, and I guess they do, but the pain isn't completely gone. Part of that could just be that I'm out of practice and so of course it will be painful. Without a race on the near horizon, no running buddies, and very little desire to just run all the time, it's hard to get back in the groove...but I miss being that kind of fit. And I want to follow through on my commitment for the Phoenix half in November. So I'm trying. I ran 3 miles on Monday and 3 miles today...I guess I should do a "long" run this weekend...and then start getting back into the training schedule I was doing this spring...uf, that was hard. But I can do it! I think!

I wrote this as a sample piece for a fitness blog I may write for one day, so I might as well post it here:



Having just completed my first half marathon, I was filled with a false sense of fitness capabilities. And also a false sense of I-don’t-need-to-run-for-a-while-because-13.1-miles! So when my first relay race came up a month later, I was pretty much completely unprepared, mentally or physically. Turns out that was something of a problem.


All of my stress for the six months leading up to my half marathon went into preparing myself to run 13.1 miles. When I completed that bucket list item, I was out of energy for worrying -- which felt nice until I was at the starting point of my first leg in Napa this Saturday. I hadn’t worried about it because each of my three legs was just about 6 miles -- totally doable! I just brushed off the fact that it would be three runs in a span of 24 hours, and also by far the hilliest course I’d ever run. And that I’d get no sleep. Details.


My first run was at 2pm on Saturday, a 6.2-mile leg through beautiful wine country in 97-degree heat with an uphill slant. Oof. By the 2nd mile, I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the weekend. Somewhere around mile 4, I ran through skunk spray. When I mercifully made it back to my team van at the end of my leg, I was having the worst allergy attack of the year, complete with a breakout of hives. Great start! This set the tone for me to completely freak out about the remaining work I’d have to do on this relay. On no sleep. Oh, fiddlesticks. (I used a different f-word at the time.)


It wasn’t all misery on the first leg. It was still early in the race, and so lots of teams were at the same point I was. Whenever I dragged myself past another team’s van, they would cheer me on and offer me water, snacks, and refreshing cool mists. The camaraderie from the other teams on the course kept my spirits up. I chatted with other runners at my pace and made a few new friends. Each time I passed my own team waiting along the course with support, I found a fresh bounce in my step. And even though it was hotter than hell and uphill and smelled like skunk, wine country makes for a pretty scenic racecourse. The pain of the experience eventually fades. Those gorgeous landscapes stick in my memory.


I was glad to be the second runner out of six in our van. That meant I didn’t have to wait around for all of my teammates to run while psyching myself out. Once my part was done, I could chill in the van and cheer on my teammates for the rest of our van’s shift. I definitely don’t think I could have handled being the last runner on our team. (Mad respect, Max!)


Our team made two critical mistakes in planning that contributed to our misery during the race. Luckily, these are easy fixes, and knowing what I know now, I won’t make these mistakes again. The first problem was that our vans were not full-sized. In a mini-van, six teammates don’t have room to stretch and relax, especially with all our crap crammed in there. A large van would have allowed space for more rest while not running. Mistake number two was that we didn’t plan our down time very well. In a relay, you have two team vans, with only one van actively racing at a time. The six members in the other van should be using that time to sleep. In our case, though, we were using most of that time to drive back and forth from the team headquarters, because we hadn’t planned a hotel room or a campsite or other crash space. We wasted about half of our down time driving back and forth from the course to a team member’s apartment, when we could have gotten several hours more sleep with better planning. We’ll get that right next time.


My second leg of the race came at about 1am, just outside of downtown San Francisco. The course guide showed that I’d have a 5.9-mile run with a 600-foot elevation gain. 100 feet per mile? No biggie. About that...it was a NET gain of 100 feet per mile. But this is San Francisco, home of the steepest slopes that physics will allow. It was sharply up and sharply down about four times over that stretch. I averaged a 12:30 pace on those six miles. And if you think running up a steep hill is torture, try running down a steep slope while having to use the bathroom. That was just about the most uncomfortable I’d ever been in my life. You know, except for the previous leg when I was running uphill in 97-degree heat and skunk spray.


When I got back in the team van around 2am, I texted my husband and best friend and told them both to NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN. A stream of expletives and WHAT WAS I THINKING?! followed, and I tried unsuccessfully to doze off in my seat in the minivan. I was a tad cranky.


When our van handed off to the other van around 5am, we drove back to team HQ and got another 2 hours of sleep before heading out for our final leg. Many of the festively-decorated vans had phrases written on them along the lines of “My third leg is the hardest!” Heh, heh. Basically everyone in our van was pretty sleep-deprived, achy, and grumpy at this point, but there was a lot of humor in the conversations that happened in this barely-lucid state. Despite all the discomfort, we all laughed a lot throughout.


My last leg was an “easy” 4.7-mile downhill run at 10am. I honestly felt like there was no way my feet would carry me to the end of it, but thanks to gravity and inertia, I actually made it. My GPS watch undersold me on the distance, and so I thought I still had a half mile to go when the finish line came in sight. That was such a welcome surprise that I was able to turn on the jets and sprint the last 100 yards or so. I actually averaged an 8:30 mile for this leg, which is faster than my 5K PR pace. I’m sure the downhill had a lot to do with that.


Once I was done, our team still had four runners to go, but I immediately started feeling better. No longer stressing about how difficult my next leg would be or if I’d find myself feeling nature’s call somewhere in the middle of it, I was able to relax and just enjoy cheerleading my teammates. I even found the energy to run the last 500 yards with my team at the very end of the course. And I immediately texted my husband and best friend back to say “disregard my previous message. I can’t wait to do this again!”

Seriously, it was kind of awful in the moment...the 31-hour moment. But most of the things that made it awful are things I can manage better next time. Actually train. Actually sleep. Familiarize myself with the course. Get an awesome costume. I couldn’t do this every weekend, but I really am looking forward to my next one!

Due to scheduling conflicts, I have been unable to see my trainer for the past two months. That was more or less fine in the month leading up to my half marathon, because I was disciplined and working hard at that. Since the race, though? Well, that's a different story. So I knew today was going to suck. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I was worried it would be. I've slacked a lot, but I haven't completely quit working out, so I actually still had a lot more strength than I gave myself credit for. Ertan said he was surprised at how well I did. So, yay for me. And now I'm going to be here in my bed for the next 30 hours. Then this weekend I'm running 17 miles over the course of three legs of the relay race I agreed while drunk to do. Sigh...it'll be good for me, and probably fun, too, 'cause Kevin and Max! And 10 or so other people I'll meet this weekend! After that, my only fitness obligation for now is to fit into my bridesmaid dress on June 1. I have another half on the horizon for November, but no other plans. I should make some.

I only work two days this week, today and tomorrow, and then Friday I fly to Santa Cruz. I am feeling a lot of feelings about this upcoming race. The biggest one is OMG CAN IT JUST BE DONE ALREADY?!, which is I imagine how I'm going to feel for most of the race itself. Here's the thing. I've put in the training and I know I can do it, so I'm not worried that I'll fail. I'm worried fairly certain that I'm going to hate it. I have never enjoyed running. I enjoy that I CAN run. I know I will enjoy the accomplishment and feel awesome about that. But in all my training, I have never found that love for the sport that so many runners boast. It's just not in me. The thing is...I don't love any fitness. Biking is probably my favorite, but working out in general is hard and not enjoyable. But I enjoy the rewards, and I intend to keep doing it forever. I just don't want to be one of those insufferable people who gushes about how much they love it, because I don't, and I know I'd feel a lot better about myself if other people were more honest about how much they hate working out, too. (Well, lots of people are, and they don't work out -- I'd like to hear from the ones who do work out but still hate it.) It sometimes feels a lot like a mom with post-partum depression. Everyone else is talking about what a blessing parenthood is while you're just drowning and feeling wretched about it. Obviously it's not that serious, but the point is so many people talk about how much they love to work out and I have to say I'm fucking jealous. I wish I loved to work out, because I love the way I look and feel when I'm keeping it up...but I've tried so many different methods (running, swimming, biking, sports, classes, etc) and it's become like this loveless marriage. I'm just staying in it for the clothes.

Okay that turned bitchy in a hurry. I just wanted to put it out there honestly how I feel, because I know how hard it can be to read about someone else's [successful] fitness programs. Some people really do love it, and that makes it a lot easier for them, I guess. I wish I was one of those people, but oh well. I'm still a chubby sloth on the inside.

I appreciate all the words of encouragement leading up to this race, and I REALLY appreciate all the folks who are coming to join me in it. The trip WILL be fun. As for the race? Everyone tells me I'll enjoy it. I wish I could believe that. I don't, but I'm trying to stay positive anyway. In four days, it'll be in my past. Wow. And then I have 30 to freak out about :)

It's been busy times lately, so of course a righteous bout of insomnia hit me on the night before my work week began. I was kind of dreading this whole day, knowing I'd be exhausted, but it hasn't been too bad, actually. It's possible I'm a little flakier than usual, but luckily there hasn't been a whole lot going on. No real opportunities for me to drop the ball anyway.

Kelly, Dave, and I hit up the first day of the 2013 Portland Saturday Market this weekend. While we were eating our lunch in a park, a guy came up to us and asked for pennies. Not any other money, just our pennies. I gave him three, and he explained why they were so valuable to him (something about bus fare but I'm pretty sure you're allowed to use quarters to buy bus passes, too, so I didn't really get it), and then told us where he'd be later if we had more pennies to get rid of, or knew someone who would. When he walked away, Dave asked "Were we just in a Portlandia sketch?"

Sunday was my ten mile day, and it actually went quite well. I got up earlyish to get the run out of the way, and also take advantage of the break in the rain so I could do the run outside. It was nice. I had enough on my mind to distract me for stretches of time, and I paced myself well so that I wasn't dying or worrying about getting through it. I always feel a strong sense of empowerment when I get to the turnaround point in these long runs. There's some strong psychology behind the idea of being more than halfway done with something difficult. The first couple of miles after the halfway point have been the easiest for me on all my long runs. The last mile still tends to be a bitch, though. Only 3.1 more miles of distance to add. The race is a month from tomorrow. I'll be glad to have it behind me.

After my run, I basically stayed in bed the rest of the day. It was glorious. I did go to the store, at least. Not the slothiest day I've ever had.

On Monday afternoon, Kelly, Dave, and I went over to Shanon's to hang out for a bit. We helped her rip up all the moss from her back yard -- really fun and destructive, but my back is feeling it still. Jack is super cute, but still a giant crybaby. It'll be nice when he grows out of that. He's getting really close to talking, so I bet it will get better once he's able to communicate what he wants. He kind of said "apple" while we were all eating apples, but it's possible those were just random syllables that came out sounding like "apple" because it made sense to us.

Yesterday was another glorious day of no obligations, so I slept in really late (thus my insomnia, probably). Kelly and Dave spent the whole day packing to leave, so I did my best to ignore that fact, because it makes me sad. I gave them hugs when I left for work this morning, and I expect they're somewhere in Idaho by now. Kelly did leave a bunch of stuff in her room, so I told her she can't have it back until she moves back. Her job is April through October, and Dave's employment picture is still pretty fuzzy, but the expectation is that they'll both be living in Portland by this fall. I'd feel a lot better about it if I knew for sure, though! At least she has to come back for her stuff... It will be sad going home to an empty house tonight, but I'll get through it. I loved living here before Kelly got here, too, after all.

I'm hoping work stays chill for the rest of the day, and then I can go home, watch the Blazers play (east coast game, thank goodness for time zones), and crash really early. Snoozing by 7:30 is the hope...

Yesterday was not a good day.  I woke up to news that my husband's grandfather had passed away in the early morning.  This was completely expected and non-shocking, but it is still difficult for the family, McKenzie especially.  His dad came and got him from the regional, and I met everyone in Salem after work.  Most things are taken care of, and by the time I joined them, there wasn't a lot left to do.  I wrote the obituary, which I'll post here later.  I also wrote Vi's when she died in 2008.  I think it's a real honor to do that, and the family loved what I wrote, so that's nice.

An unrelated incident has been eating me since yesterday, and I don't know if my reaction is just displaced sadness/frustration or what, but I thought maybe venting would help me feel better anyway.  This is a venting post.  I'll do something more proper to honor Grampa when I have a reasonable amount of time to put into it.

In my training program, Thursdays are the longer of my mid-week runs, and this week is the first of five weeks of five-mile Thursdays.  I brought outdoor running gear, but it was shitty outside, so I wore shorts and ran on the treadmill at work instead.  There's a tiny little gym here with about five cardio machines and random weights and other equipment, and basically I'm always in there alone.  Occasionally there will be other people overlapping, but only once have I seen someone else use the treadmill while I was there.  And I go at 11:30 every day.  Every.  Damn.  Day.  (That I'm here, anyway.)  Anyway, I got on the treadmill in a foul mood already, and dreading the longer run, and as soon as I got on, a girl I'd never seen before came in and asked me how much longer I had.

Her:  How much time do you have left?
Me:  I don't know, I just started...like an hour?
Her:  AN HOUR?!
Me:  Well, 50 minutes or so.
Her:  Isn't there a half hour limit?
Me:  No...?
Her:  Are you sure?
Me:  Yes...(it's an office gym that hardly anyone ever uses and there are no rules posted anywhere.)
Her:  Seriously, an hour?
Me:  Yes...sorry...

Then she stormed out and I didn't see her again.  I had never seen her before, either.  I wanted to explain to her that I would go outside if I could, that I'm on a strict training schedule, that I was having a shitty day and didn't need her attitude, that I was there EVERY FUCKING WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, and FRIDAY at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME and while that doesn't grant me ownership of the treadmill, it just felt like a slap in the face for someone who's never in there to question the appropriateness of my use of the machines.  But I didn't have these conversations with her, because she rolled her eyes at me and stomped out, and honestly I'm pissed off that the last thing I said to her was that I was sorry, because I'm fucking not.  Fuck you.  I would have been empathetically sorry if you had been nice.  I know how much it sucks to be planning a specific workout and then the equipment not be available.  I HAAAATE that.  But I also hate you for being so rude to me.  It felt like a kick while I was already down, and I had a terrible run anyway, and believe me, I didn't wanna be there for an hour.  But I got through my run and I'm about to head down there again now, and I hope I don't see that bitch.  Actually I hope it's nice enough to run outside.  But gah why can't it be a person's default to be nice to others?  I know I haven't always been that way, but my life has gotten so much better since I started making a conscious effort to default to nice, and I wish others would do it, too.  Sigh.

Time to run.

I usually never go this long between updates!  Apologies -- I just purchased Civ V after not playing for years, and suddenly all my free time disappeared.  Funny how that happens.  (It's a great game, by the way...but it's looooong and if you're like me, it will rob you of sleep and productivity, so don't say I didn't warn you.)

Since I last checked in, Kelly turned 30, and we celebrated in style.  We joined a new friend from our board game group and his girlfriend for a hike in the Gorge, happy hour at Edgefield, and then we split off and Kelly and I went to the Blazers vs. Jazz game that evening.  I was super bummed because Gordon Hayward has been injured and didn't play, but at least my loyalties weren't at all divided, then.  The Blazers won another thriller, and when the confetti fell from the ceiling, I told Kelly I'd arranged that for her birthday.  The next day was Super Bowl Sunday, and we went to Linda's for a little soiree, but that was more bridge and food than football.  

My work week was a little nutty this week.  The underwriting company that we work with is doing a huge audit, so I had to sift through lots of files to find specific documents that they wanted.  This is not easy, when an insurance policy is ~100 pages long, and I'm looking for a specific page, and I'm not really clear what that page is supposed to look like anyway...I usually only deal with the claims, not the policies.  I don't really like not knowing what I'm doing, and that made it the most stressful week I've ever had at work.  Still, really not bad.  Just comparatively so.  I did learn that most of these insurance policies have exclusions for things like terrorism and also "undeclared civil war."  "Sorry, we won't be covering your accident.  You see, it wasn't road rage, but an act o undeclared civil war."  Seems like that could be a pretty vast category, if adjusters wanted to be assholes and just deny every claim.  I've never known it to come up, though :)

Running training continues.  I'm <2 months from race day now, and while I'm feeling fairly confident about it, I'm also starting to feel the effects of harder training.  Twinges in my legs that I haven't felt before, lower back soreness...so I'm icing things and stretching thoroughly and hoping that my body will hang in there through the race.  If the aches and pains don't go away, I think this will be my one and only half marathon.  I'm just so afraid of injuring myself (especially without health insurance) that I'm going to take my body's signals very seriously.  But I do like that I'm running longer distances, and hope I can keep at it, just maybe not quite as many miles as I'm putting in throughout this training schedule (20-25/week...still less than a single whole marathon, but more than human bodies were really built for).  And I look forward to getting back to a more varied activity plan.  Right now I do five days a week of cardio, but only one of those days is not running.  Tomorrow I have an 8 mile run on the schedule.  

Kelly and I went downtown today, specifically because I did not want to spend the whole day playing Civ.  Well, I DID want to spend the whole day playing Civ, but then I'd feel shitty, so I decided I needed to go to American Apparel to get more awesome knee socks, and asked Kelly to come with me.  This is safe, you see, because Kelly hates shopping.  I can't get into too much trouble with her.  Yeah, turns out that's not true.  Kelly hates shopping for clothes, sure, but she's outdoorsy and athletic and needed to go to REI...where I managed to find a rain jacket that will be perfect for biking this spring.  Then I remembered Nike was near the food carts where we had lunch, as is the rule when you go to downtown Portland, and I'd been meaning to get some new running shoes before they discontinue the line that I've been wearing for my training.  And compression socks for running, because sometimes my calves get tight, and I've heard those are great.  So we went into down for socks and a food cart lunch, and somehow I ended up spending my whole paycheck.  It's cool, though.  All that stuff was stuff I did legitimately need (at least a little) and would have eventually purchased.  And hey, I didn't sit on my ass and play Civ all day!  (I have still played several hours of it.  Sigh.  Eventually the magic will wear off and I'll be able to focus on other things.  I hope.)

Anyway that's what's up with me lately.  Basically more of the same.  I play a lot of games, run a lot of miles, and go to work in between.