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Jul. 6th, 2016 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jianantonicHaving a self-pity party.
I was on a roll, and then...I got thrown off course. I know I'm not starting from ZERO, but it's still frustrating to have to retrace steps when my relapse wasn't actually due to laziness or anything I brought upon myself. Usually it is. This time, though, I got food poisoning, then shingles, and I've been unable to get out of bed most of the last 7 days. And I need to work, and make money, and pay bills. I haven't run in over a week. I don't know how much I will be able to run when I get back to the gym. Maybe tomorrow? Probably not until Friday at the earliest, though. My shingles rash still hurts a lot. Even though it's not on my legs, any physical activity aggravates it. It's slowly improving, though.
I'm currently taking 5 prescriptions, and 3 different doctor-recommended OTC drugs. 15 pills a day plus three ointment applications. I'm 33 years old and I take care of myself! Ugh. Thank heavens for my insurance, anyway.
The brightest spot in my day, though, was hanging out with Shanon, Mary, Sloane, and Gwen this morning. The little girls are 23 and 20 months old now, and both getting more outgoing. They're more comfortable with me playing with them and snuggling them. The five of us went to the park near Mary's house, and both girls wanted me to hold them and swing them and join in their games -- which were largely incredibly boring, but fulfilling at the same time because their giggles were the best. It was win-win for everyone, because the moms were happy to unload their toddlers on me for a while, and I'm happy to indulge the kids, too. But I was telling Mary and Shanon that it's so much easier for me to enjoy playing with kids when I don't have to do it all the time...because the shit they like is really boring. We spent several minutes with both girls putting playground bark dust in my hands and laughing with delight when I emptied my hands back onto the ground, saying "goodbye!" I mean, I'm glad they like me! But I'm super glad I don't have to do that all day every day, too.
I accidentally left something at Mary's house, so I had to go back at dinnertime to grab it. Gwen came running to me, and was all hugs and smiles while I was there. I'm really pleased that she's starting to recognize me and bond with me. I really love that kid.
Taking a moment to vent and then relive the happy parts of the day has me feeling a bit better. I think I'm actually going to do some chores tonight -- it won't improve my bank balance or fitness, but I'll feel a little accomplished, anyway.
I was on a roll, and then...I got thrown off course. I know I'm not starting from ZERO, but it's still frustrating to have to retrace steps when my relapse wasn't actually due to laziness or anything I brought upon myself. Usually it is. This time, though, I got food poisoning, then shingles, and I've been unable to get out of bed most of the last 7 days. And I need to work, and make money, and pay bills. I haven't run in over a week. I don't know how much I will be able to run when I get back to the gym. Maybe tomorrow? Probably not until Friday at the earliest, though. My shingles rash still hurts a lot. Even though it's not on my legs, any physical activity aggravates it. It's slowly improving, though.
I'm currently taking 5 prescriptions, and 3 different doctor-recommended OTC drugs. 15 pills a day plus three ointment applications. I'm 33 years old and I take care of myself! Ugh. Thank heavens for my insurance, anyway.
The brightest spot in my day, though, was hanging out with Shanon, Mary, Sloane, and Gwen this morning. The little girls are 23 and 20 months old now, and both getting more outgoing. They're more comfortable with me playing with them and snuggling them. The five of us went to the park near Mary's house, and both girls wanted me to hold them and swing them and join in their games -- which were largely incredibly boring, but fulfilling at the same time because their giggles were the best. It was win-win for everyone, because the moms were happy to unload their toddlers on me for a while, and I'm happy to indulge the kids, too. But I was telling Mary and Shanon that it's so much easier for me to enjoy playing with kids when I don't have to do it all the time...because the shit they like is really boring. We spent several minutes with both girls putting playground bark dust in my hands and laughing with delight when I emptied my hands back onto the ground, saying "goodbye!" I mean, I'm glad they like me! But I'm super glad I don't have to do that all day every day, too.
I accidentally left something at Mary's house, so I had to go back at dinnertime to grab it. Gwen came running to me, and was all hugs and smiles while I was there. I'm really pleased that she's starting to recognize me and bond with me. I really love that kid.
Taking a moment to vent and then relive the happy parts of the day has me feeling a bit better. I think I'm actually going to do some chores tonight -- it won't improve my bank balance or fitness, but I'll feel a little accomplished, anyway.
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Date: 2016-07-07 02:22 pm (UTC)